Airports are the world's greatest places for people watching. It is where the great and the good all go when they need to go somewhere else. They tie together all walks of life, all nationalities, all income levels.
Airports are also some of the strictest places in the world. That's why they make such good places for people watching. The rules are made for everyone but a few special people.
Special in their own heads anyway.
For example, this morning going through airport security, the woman ahead of David and I in the queue was asked if she had any liquids in her carry on bags. The exchange went like this:
Woman: No. Oh wait. Does ibuprofen gel count?
Security: Yes. Please take it out of your bag. [Woman opens bag.]. What is this?
Woman: A drink. Does that count? I already drank most of it.
Security: I will have to dispose of it.
Woman: (in a huff). If you must.
Security: Anything else?
Woman: No.
[Bag goes through x-ray.]
Security: Excuse me, I need to look in your bag. There appears to be liquid in it.
Woman: (in a bigger huff). Fine.
Security: What is this?
Woman: A carton of Ribena.
Security: I will have to dispose of it. Now your bag needs to go back through the scanner. [Puts bag through scanner.]. I'm sorry, there seems to be something else ...
I will end it there. I didn't know whether to be annoyed she was holding everyone up or piss myself laughing. I decided to keep a straight face. She had more tattoos than I do. Bigger ones, too.
Unfortunately she is also on our flight. Oh please don't let her be in our hotel as well!
Now we're on our Thomas Cook flight somewhere over Europe. I can't see enough land to be able to tell which part, although we cleared Belgium, Luxembourg and Germany a while back.
We have survived the airline food and resisted the urge to pay extra for special headsets to let us hear the in-flight film (advertised as "Spider-Man" but actually "Rock of Ages"). And, as the sun is over the yard-arm, which is David's measurement by which he judges whether one has class or not, so a celebratory drink in celebration of our latest holiday is in order.
3.52pm in Bodrum, Turkey
Well that was one of the easiest passport control experiences I've had, apart from returning to the UK from Dublin! Show your passport, pay $20 for a visa, show your passport again, get your baggage. I was expecting something like the turmoil of the airport in Tunisia because of the things I had read online.
The approach to this airport is the most scenic I've ever seen. Round and round the mountains we went. For a while I thought the airport must be on a mountain! I couldn't take pictures, as much as I really wanted to, because the "no electronics are to be switched on because you'll crash the plane" rule was in force.
Now it's the usual package holiday experience of wait for everyone to get on the coach for dropping off at the various hotels on route. At least the coach is air conditioned! It's very hot here - thank goodness!
5.27pm World of Wonders Hotel Room 1314, Bodrum, Turkey
Just checked in and made it to our room. Dead mouse in bathtub. I want to cry.
5.45pm World of Wonders Hotel Room 1345, Bodrum, Turkey
Room change. Same size but with a sea view instead of a view of kids playing football. And no dead mouse in the bathtub.
6.42pm
Starting to relax a bit now. This helps:
The order of the evening is a drink on the terrace, some food and sleep!
7.37pm
I am stuffed full of cheese, tzatziki, hummous, baklava, smoked mackerel and anchovies.
Yes, I said anchovies. Delish.
I saw a very "cute couple" in the restaurant, obviously on their first holiday together. So sweet. Until they finished eating and he got up to leave.
"Darling," she said. "You're supposed to pull my chair out for me so I can stand up."
I think he wanted to swear at her and he didn't pull her chair out.
No comments:
Post a Comment